Forcing myself to watch Game of Thrones.

Everywhere I go all I see is “GAME OF THRONES”


EVERYWHERE I GO ITS THERE EVEN MY FAVORITE BAND 

MY OWN MOM IS OBSESSED WITH IT.

I DONT GET IT.

ITS EVERYWHERE.

ZOMBIE APOCOLYPSE?

YOU MEAN GAME OF THRONES APOCOLYPSE?

So I decided to force myself to watch an epsisode and see how I feel about it. It’s not normally something I would watch but I feel so out of the loop.

My comments on the first episode:

  • “I’m confused”
  • “I like their accents
  • “DONT KILL THE PUPS”
  • “That one dude is hot”
  • “IM SO SO SO CONFUSED” 
  • “LOL DAMN THEY GOT SHORT JOKES”
  • “HES SO HOT FUCKKKK”
  • “I’ve seen that dude in a movie before”
  • “Child please don’t fall.”
  • “I THINK HE WAS IN CINDERELLA THATS WHERE IVE SEEN HIM”
  • “Why am I making myself watch this right now? I’m really trying to fit in that much?”
  • “I think I may be enjoying this??!?!?!”
  • “How is the queen married to THAT?”
  • “Why does he remind me of Prince Charming from shrek?”
  • “And here come the sex scenes……”
  • “I remember watching this part of the episode with my mom.”
  • “Oh shit what’s happening?? I got distracted.”
  • “This is too long for my attention span.”
  • “Did he just…”
  • “I THOUGHT THEY WERE RELATED DID THEY JUST.?”
  • “HE JUST PUSHED THE KID OFF OF THERE WTF BITCH.”
  • “Now I feel like I need to watch another episode..”

IN CONCLUSION; 

It wasn’t bad, I could see how people could get addicted to this.

Will I watch it again?

– Probably. But not all the time because it’s not my style of what I normally watch. 

-And I’m curious wtf happens next. What did I get myself into?

– I MAY OR MAY NOT BE WATCHING EPISODE 2 RN…

Am I obsessed?

-No

IDK HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS.

okay that’s all for today I tried something new xx

I need to vent


No no not that kind of vent.🙄

I need to rant like really bad because my life is sucking major ass right now. 

  • First off all I’m currently jobless. If you want to hear that story check out my last post for details. So I was basically replaced by new people and when I came back from vacation there was no room on the schedule for me. So I left, still pissed about that.
  •  I applied for a job at a clothing store that I LOOOOVEEE. Got an interview and never heard back. I thought I did amazing in my interview, I was 100% myself and they seemed to like me a lot. LOL I GUESS I WAS WRONG. So still on the job hunt that is going, NO WHERE. 
  • My friend that knows more about me than anyone else quit talking to me for no reason. Now I have like two friends that are always busy and I can’t really hang out with. One lives kinda far and like I said the other one is busy. These two people dmed me saying they wanted to talk more then they quit talking to me. AM I THAT HORRIBLE TO TALK TO?!?!?! So in a way, I’m losing friends like I’m losing tears. Which means a lot. And it sucks, and finding new people to talk to isn’t easy either.
  • I have a love interest known as “Meant to be Guy”. Saw him the other day got too nervous to talk to him and I’m pretty sure he went back to college. Who knows if I’ll see him again that was probably just his summer job. I blew my chance when he obviously had his eyes all over me. He is adorable and has the sweetest personality I’ve seen in a guy in a while. He’s kinda awkward too and everytime I see him he blushes. We could’ve been best friends or even dated IF I WASNT SUCH A FUCKING AWKWARD CHICKEN. 
  • Idk what to do with my life. I’m seeing all of my friends going to these nice colleges that are hella $$$$. And I would rather not be paying off college the rest of my life. But then it’s also hard to do what I want to do at a small college and what I want to do may not make much money. Therefore, I have to have a backup plan which I don’t mind but I just want to do my main thing. If you were wondering:

Dream Job: Photojournalist
Backup plan: Veternary        Assistant

 So I still have to be realistic and follow my dreams. THE STRUGGLE OF ADULTING.



 Overall, im just not happy with myself right now. I feel like a piece of trash, because I’m not making money. No one likes me for some reason, nothing is going well. And I’m just confused and depressed and I just feel like I’m in a revolving door of shit and it’s just a mess. 

I feel like crap because I’m stuck not being able to do anything until I get a job. So until then I’m going to be working on my YouTube channel and my photography until I can actually get a job. Woo. And hopefully I’ll run into meant to be Guy soon, and make some new friends.

Who knows.

Sorry about the rant I needed to do that. And I will see you guys soon with a more entertaining blog post xx

My Job Lost Me

OKAY SO. If you have read my last posts about work then you know I have not been put on the schedule in forever. 

I called my job last week and they said I could work three days next week. 

I went in today and no one knew I was supposed to be there. They called my big manager and he said I never called and talked him when I came back. And that there is no room on the schedule for me. When the other manager I talked to told him when I could work and he never put me on there.

I called there 10+ times trying to get on the damn schedule. And he claimed I never called. 

So basically I had to go home because I wasn’t on the schedule. I told my mom and she said she’s done with them and I’m also done. I shoved my work clothes in the closet and blocked their number from my phone. 

It’s ridiculous when I have been working there for 6 months and they just forgot about my existence. So I didn’t lose my job they lost me. They don’t know I’m quitting, I would’ve put my two weeks in if I could work but I couldn’t. So that’s all. Hopefully find a new job that appreciates what I do for them and treats me how I should be treated. 

That’s all xx 

THINGS IM INTO RIGHT NOW

I don’t want to be basic and be like “Here’s my July favorites!🌴💛💫” or some shit. I hear that way too much so I just renamed it when it’s basically the same thing😂

Disclaimer: None of the pics in this post are mine 

1. THESE VANS I LOVE THEM SO MUCH DUDE SO COMFY 

And I bought vans socks and they were 15 DOLLARS WTF I COULD BUY SOME SANDALS FOR THAT PRICE NOT FUCKING SOCKS

anyways, love these so comfy and stylish! Get them from Jouneys because journeys employees are always so nice and they support warped tour 🤙🏼

➡️ Journeys black vans ⬅️


2. Dorothy Must Die book
I literally DESPISE reading. I just am so unamused  by it. But this book has changed my life, it’s a series and I’m only on the first one. 

It’s about a girl that ends up in Oz, but it’s not the same Oz that Dorothy was in in the movies. Its worse. And that’s all I’m saying it’s so gooooooood. 

This is me the queen of hating reading telling you to read this book now!


(Amazon is the cheapest place to get it just saying)

3. Youtubers

Safiya Nygaard (she used to work for BuzzFeed and now she doesn’t. She has her own channel and tests crazy stuff. LOVE HER.)


Favorite video of hers: ALL OF THEM. Here’s her channel for you lazy asses who won’t look here up. 

Michelle Platti

She does conspirisy videos and stuff and I have bing watched her channel not gonna lie. So entertaining. 


Favorite video(s): Celebrity theories

Disney Channel theories 

✔️Here’s her channel✔️

4. SHOW(S)

ONCE.👏🏼UPON.👏🏼A.👏🏼TIME.👏🏼

Fuckkkkk I’ve tried to get myself into this show and I couldn’t. Then I watched it when I was bored one day and I couldn’t stop. Sooo good so many different fairytales in one but combines with real life I’m in love. 


5. THIS LIPSTICK 


NYX Liquid Suede

Stays on so well, love the bold color. Very different. But warning if you eat a sandwich your bread might be blue🤷🏻‍♀️ 

Here’s me modeling it 4 u.

6. MUSIC

I love me some good music. I’m a walking radio I’m always walking around singing something. Music is my life. 

Alright – Kent Jones


So catchy and love his voice 

Feels – Calvin Harris (ft. Pharrell Williams, Katy Perry & Big Sean)

THIS IS MY SUMMER SONG IT REMINDS ME OF JUST WALKING ON A BEACH AND SEEING A CUTE GUY AND BEING LIKE “Don’t be afraid to catch feels”


7. FOOD

I Can talk about food all day but today I found a s’mores mug cake. This stuff is so good. I love s’mores flavored things but this cake just exceeds my expectations.

Notice where it says “Perfect size for one” so make sure to show your annoying sibling or significant other that little note on the box so they leave you alone. 

To eat curled up in blankets watching Netflix alone in your room alone in the dark.  I mean what..

Fried Mac and Cheese Burger (From River City Cafe)

This is at a restaurant so obviously I can’t have it all the time but DAMN WAS THAT SHIT GOOD. It was like the bun then like a patty of fried mac and cheese then the burger then whatever else you want on it. Just the combo of flavors were so perfect.

Everyone thought I was weird eating this while they ate basic ass burgers. Atleast I’m different. 

8. JAGUA

Jagua is basically henna. But it lasts longer and dried REALLY dark. I got this August 1st and it is still on my arm as we speak. I love it so much I almost want a tattoo on it and I’m not the kind of person to get tattoos. I got it done at a shop on Myrtle Beach. People asked my friend if hers was real, that’s how legit it was. But here’s my palm trees I got on my wrist:

9. Favorite Phrase 


It’s so sarcastic and me af 

10. Celebrity I have been obsessed with 

KJ APA FROM RIVERDALE LOOK AT THIS BEAUTY WITH A DOG



I CANT 

I suddenly love Froot Loops more now 
OKAY THATS ENOUGH. If you made it this far with my craziness you are amazing. And I love you. I hope you enjoyed I’ll make another for August soon. SINCE THIS YEAR IS JUST FLYING BY


LIKE HOW? OK ANYWAYS BYE xx

Meant To Be Guy Part 3

Guyssss. This is legit going to be a series now. 

I saw meant to be guy today. He works at a store and I was in his line with my mom. She knows I like him so she’s like “oh talk to him, see if he remembers you from work. Or I can do it.” And I was like “If you don’t stop I’m leaving.” I said as I started to walk away. 

At this point MTBG (meant to be Guy because I’m too lazy to type that so many times.) was staring at me because I was telling my mom to hush. We finally got up there and my mom and I were joking around, we usually always make the cashiers laugh but he just kept staring at me. I literally couldn’t even look at him. I felt my face getting warm. He said have a good day and we walked away. But before we did he gave me a small smile and I gave him a smile back and walked away. 

My mom was like “YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE THIS IS HOW YOU GET TO KNOW PEOPLE. HE KEPT LOOKING AT YOU.” 

And I felt so bad but he was awkward because my mom was there I guess. 

Ughhh how long is this saga gonna go I just want to have an actual conversation with him outside of our jobs.😫

YouTube Addition

Guys true life … I’m addicted to YouTube. 

This day has been boring as hell, all I have done is run errands and help out with some things. I have had NOTHING to do, and then I started eating because I was bored.

I literally have been sitting on the couch watching YouTube since like 5pm it is now 10pm. I watched a 30 minute video about a girl getting evicted from her house. And I was entertained!?!? I watched people make icecream that doesn’t melt. And people walking planks across water filled with ice. 

WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING.

And I literally can’t stop because there’s nothing else to do. YouTube is an endless vortex and it grabs you by giving you more suggested videos. Until you end up on some video about how to become a Disney princess at Disney world. (Yes that actually was a suggestion). 

Like I don’t understand how I got so invested for these 5 hours like this is what my life has come to. 

But yet I can’t watch a 2 hour movie without getting annoyed/distracted. Who am I? 

I could have cleaned, cooked some food, played video games, exercised. BUT NOOOOO let’s watch people reacting to someone dancing in a cow suit. 

Because that’s normal..

Like please tell me I’m not the only one. 

Not having time 

People. 

All of my posts are about people it seems like.

Lately my friends have not been talking to me much. It’s been kind of odd, I know people have lives and everything but they don’t put in the effort that I do. 

No matter if I’m working or out doing something. If a friend needs me I will take a second out of my schedule to talk to them. But no one does the same for me. 

Most of the time I’ll get a text 7 hours later or even the next day if I needed someone to talk to. And by then it’s too late. And a lot of my friends have been focusing on their significant others, and have forgot I existed. 

It’s really hard seeing friends slip away like this, especially when it’s hard for me to meet people or make new friends. 

So that’s my rant of the day xx

How to Help Night Anxiety 

Now if you have read my blog for a while you would know I have all around anxiety. It doesn’t matter what time of day it is. 

But, it is extremely common for individuals to have anxiety at night time. 

You’re tired, it tends to be more quiet and less of a rush at night causing you to spend more time thinking. And it gives the opportunity for bad thoughts to appear in your head. 

I deal with this all the time but sometimes I have some “Late Night Rituals” that help. 

1. Listen to a podcast. If you have an iPhone on the podcast app you can set a timer for how long you would like the podcast to play. Just hit the little crescent moon at the bottom. 

Some of my favorite podcasts include:

And of course there are many others for you to choose from, just here’s some suggestions. Just listen to people talking about random stuff gets my mind off of whatever is going on on my head. So if this works for you let me know!

2. Read something.

I HATE reading books. I have such a short attention span that I can’t read an actual book without spacing out 

So what I do is read articles. Not News Articles, but BuzzFeed. BuzzFeed is a hilarious outlet, they have new posts and quizzes for you to take every day and it’s just something fun to do before hitting the hay. 

Favorite articles:

If Buzzfeed isn’t your speed (haha that rhyme though) there are other outlets out there. Or if reading books is more your speed go for it.👍🏼

3. Sleep with the tv on. 

I know they say this is unhealthy but it works!

4. Write out everything troubling you, whether it’s on paper or a blog like me. Getting out your feelings helps.

5. Watch funny or relaxing YouTube videos. Watch your favorite YouTube or try something different but proven to be relaxing like ASMR.

P.S. I always thought ASMR was weird as fuck. (Actually I still do) until I accidentally stumbled upon it one day and it changed me. It is really relaxing it’s almost like having a brain massage. It’s weird I know. 

Here’s some funny videos to brighten your day: 

6. Try to plan your dreams.

This also sounds weird but it kind of works. Ever since I was little when I was having trouble sleeping my mom said “Think about something you’ve always wanted.” So I would always dream of having the car of my dreams, the guy of my dreams, and the house of my dreams and what my life would be like. It just gives you goals or just makes you happy to imagine things that you would like. 

That’s all I have at the moment, if you have anything that helps with “Night Anxiety” leave a comment and  let me know! I’m always looking for new ways to help myself. 

I also hope this helped you xx

It Happened Again

It’s always just when you think everything is fine reality punches you in the face.

I just got back from vacation and it was good to be back but I just knew my whole job situation would be a mess. I came home to being told I can’t work this week because they didn’t know I was coming back. Like what???? I literally told them when I was coming back and that I could work that week. They also said I should’ve called the day I came back which was like a day or two before I called which would make no difference. 

It’s like they could care less if I came back, I haven’t worked in over a month and frankly it’s kind of illegal if they don’t put me back on the schedule. The only reason I’m staying at this job is so I can help out my family and pay off my own little things. And that way I can buy things I want without asking for money, which is something I hate doing.  

I have been at this job for almost a year and the fact that they suddenly care less about my existence is messed up. 

I seriously can’t wait to go through college and get the job of my dreams. 

Wish me luck on this messed up journey.🙄✨

Socially Tired

I am the most introverted person ever. I’m also extremely independent and like to be left the fuck alone. 

So when I hang out with friends or even family it’s fun at first then I get burned out. Or as I like to call it “Socially tired” 

I don’t like parties, I would much rather be sitting on the couch playing video games or listening to music. 
Music is kind of my escape from people because when I have headphones in most people leave me alone, plus I love music. 

Recently I went on vacation with my friend and her family and they are amazing people don’t get me wrong. I love them to death but in the middle of the week I started to get bitchy. REAL bitchy. I get cranky when I want to be left alone for a while but it’s hard to when you’re on vacation with 5 people and constantly doing things. My get away was sitting in the hotel room on my bed watching YouTube videos. And everyone would leave me alone.

I’m just used to living with like barley 2 people, so being stuck with all of these people for this many days is new to me. 

I’m so happy to go home and have my own bed but the funny thing is the day I come home I have to go to a party after a LONG ASS road trip. Fun🤙🏼 

After the party I will be spending a few days in bed playing sims and enjoying some alone time. Then it’s back to hell I mean work.. great🙄 I spent way too much money in myrtle beach so I need to replenish it.. oops. But all together I did have fun though, I love going to new places😋