“A guy would be nice”

Okay so love is a very touchy subject for me. I have never been in love, and it’s hard for me to trust and enjoy people’s company.

I have only been in one relationship that basically went down into flames.

I’m not one of those girls that has a new boyfriend every month. I am very picky and I know what I want.

I was on my way to work today with my grandmother and I was telling her how I’m extremely bored lately.

And she said “It would be nice if you go the movies, not necessarily with a guy but with some friends. But a guy would be nice.” then she added “He will come eventually though.” 

That got to me a little bit. My mom always told me that the right guy will come and that I’m smart for not having a boyfriend. 

I have been putting so much pressure on myself trying to meet new guys and talk to them but none have made an impression on me.

And she made me almost kind of feel bad about myself because I don’t have a boyfriend and I don’t have many friends like my cousins. 

Two of my cousins go to huge colleges and are always hanging out with friends, both have had long term boyfriends. 

And I feel like I’m constantly being compared to them. 

I’m not about to hop into a relationship with some random person, I need to find the right one.

Part of me wants to just give up and let the guy come to me.

Then the other half of me wants to put myself out there and talk to people, which I have been doing but no one has really interested me.

Most guys always end up being friends because I don’t see them that way. It’s pretty aggravating.

I know it will happen eventually, but what if it doesn’t?

I’ll probably end up living in an apartment with my cat. 

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