Yes it’s my birthday. I was never really one to be that excited for my birthday. I hate being the center of attention and never really had parties unless it was like 5 friends.
But anyways this is basically a spin off of “___ things I’ve learned in __ years” but I wanted it to be funny and not sappy. No sappy stuff on my birthday.
1. When I was in middle school we stood up to do the Pledge of Allegiance and I missed the chair and fell on the floor. The sad part was half of me caught the chair and the other half was just like NOPE so I fell and everyone laughed. And I yelled at them for laughing.
2. When I was really little I went to plug in a charger for my portable DVD player and I felt this shock in my body and I started crying. My dad pulled the plug out and there was water all over it. So I got electrocuted and ever since then I always check plugs before I plug them in.
3. At my old job this one guy I worked with randomly was like “TRUST FALL” and I literally was like “Boy I don’t feel like catching you” and I didn’t actually think he would fall back and he hit the ground so hard it was this SMACK noise and I felt so bad. Alright I did tell him I wasn’t going to catch him. Since then he “can’t trust me”.
4. When I was little I went to the beach with my family and my older cousin took his shirt off. And his chest was all hairy and I was literally scared of him because it creeped me out that he had that much hair on his chest. And I still get made fun of for it to this day.
5. I once walked around school with a dirty pad in my back pocket the whole day and never realized it until I got home. Yup.
6. When I was in middle school my math teacher used to let me and my two friends in the hallway and we would sit out there and “do our work”. We would skip all the questions with fractions and he would still give us points. And if anyone else asked to sit out there he would say no. And my one friend wouldn’t even ask to go to the bathroom. She would go into the classroom and grab the pass and say “Mr.___ I’m going to the bathroom.” And he would just be like “okay.” My favorite class ever.
7. When I was little I thought dump trucks were called “dumb trucks” and I still call them that to this day.
8. On prom my friends and I went to a craft store to kill time before going to prom. I’ve never been stared at so much in my life. We stuck out like sore thumbs. But hey we got lots of compliments though 💁🏻
9. I was eating barbeque chicken when I was little and I finished and realized my tooth was gone. It wasn’t on the plate, it was there before I ate. So I thought I swallowed it, but not sure if that’s possible. I left the tooth fairy a note saying sorry for (legit no pun intended)losing my tooth.
10. My favorite youtuber Kingsley answered a question in one of his videos. I asked him if I should do sports even though I was worried I would be terrible and not havevtime. Let me just say he SASSED ME. He dragged me. It was wonderful.
11. In art in elementary school we were sculpting animals with clay. And after they went into the kiln and everything we got to paint them. I made a dog and I painted it blue and organge.
My teacher yelled at me because it wasn’t “realistic.”
When it’s literally art and you’re supposed to EXPRESS YOURSELF AND BE CREATIVE. Ok why am I yelling?
But her yelling at me made me want to create more unique art to prove her stupid comment wrong.
12. I used to walk around trick or treating with sun glasses on because I was afraid of anyone dressed up in a mask or had paint on their face. So the sunglasses helped to block them out. Still scared of masks but not as bad.
13. I hate the number 13. But I went on a haunted trail a couple of years ago with a friend. And I’m deathly afraid of clowns and one got a little too much into my personal space. So I remember literally grabbing my friend and lifting her off the ground and setting her in front of me. Never underestimate a weak girl when she’s scared.
14. I was walking in the hallway of school once and I was wearing a 5 seconds of summer shirt. And this girl was like “hey I like your shirt” and I said “thanks”.
Then a few days later I passed out in P.E and was sent to the nurses office and that girl was in there and she was like;
“Hey were you the girl with the 5SOS shirt?”
And we have been friends ever since.
15. A baby duck stepped on my foot when I was in myrtle beach and it was the cutest moment in my entire life.
16. We had this event at my school where it was like a pageant for the guys and they each had to make a speech. And this one guy was telling a story and was like
“And this fucking.” And he covered his mouth so fast.
And was like
“I’m done talking now.”
Because it was a school event even though it was after school. And there were teachers in the audience. I laughed so hard I almost cried.
And he still won the pageant though.
17. I was on a field trip for school and it was in a legit field. Suddenly I felt something crawl up my leg and I looked down and it was one of those giant fuzzy caterpillars. I wanted to scream but I couldn’t because someone was speaking to us about nature and shit. So I got the guts to flick it off of my pants and it hit the barn next to me and it was so big it made a huge sound. And I hid like nothing happened.
18. Okay I’m out of ideas and it’s also 2am so I’m going to stop before my fingers fall off. I honestly feel 18 and I’ve never felt any other age but I CAN FEEL IT.
I hope these atleast made someone laugh that would make me happy. Xx