My Take on Relationships 

Yes this is another shitty post about relationships. I have lost hope in most relationships, and love in general. I have only been in one relationship my whole life, it was wonderful until the end when he completely changed. 

I have always had trust issues, and having someone I trusted with everything just turn on me doesn’t help. 

Also I have found some interests in guys that love photography or love bands and music. But they always seem to find interests in other people.
 I’m really picky when it comes to guys, I won’t settle for less than what I need. And when I find that and the person doesn’t like me in return it’s another long ass journey to find another. And my friends accuse my “pickiness” as the culprit of why I haven’t found a guy. It’s good to be picky, I have enough problems in my life and I don’t need some bimbo making it worse. 

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard: 

“Well you have to give this guy a chance”

“If you weren’t so picky you could find a guy”

“Maybe if you lowered your standards..”

While I’m just like⬇️

A lot of my friends just date people for attention, and that is something I’m sooooo against. Two of my friends HATED their current boyfriends, but now because they are getting attention they’re all for them. While I’m sitting in the corner waiting for their relationship to crumble, because I just know it’s going to happen. 

I’m not the kind of person that wants to date for fun, I want to find someone that I could see myself with for a while. I’m so sensitive that I couldn’t date on and off because my feelings wouldn’t allow it. 

It is really frustrating when all of your friends are hanging out with their guys and you are just a loner sitting on your couch playing video games. I just have to tell myself that my guy is out there and I WILL find him. 

I don’t necessarily not “believe in love”, but I think it’s very rare that relationships last and people are perfect for eachother. And when it does happen it’s beautiful, but being around shitty relationships in my life I’m determined to find the guy who treats me like I deserve. 

So yeah that’s my take on relationships, this post wasn’t too interesting but it was something I wanted to share, that’s all. 


So a few days ago I went to a music festival called “Warped Tour” and it’s known for its screamo / rock music. I went with two of my pals and it was HOT AS HELL outside. We went inside and looked at the times the different bands were playing. And of course my favorite band Neck Deep played LAST.  WHICH WAS 7 HOURS FROM THEN. I was like shit, and we weren’t fans of most of the bands until about 5. So we walked around and sweated our asses off. I wanted to walk by ND’s tent and we casually walked by and I saw Matt from the band and I almost shit my pants literally. My body was shaking, I walked up to him and talked about the tour and stuff and he was talking about how he regretted wearing sweatpants in almost 90 degree weather. Then we took a picture together and my day was made. 

Later on that day I saw him again and I got him to sign my ticket, and then one of the other members were there too and I didn’t realize it was him. And plus he was busy selling merchant, I kind of blanked out and forget it was him. FML. 

Then I convinced my friends mom to let me stay until 8 and see them play and I got extremely close. I was about to punch someone from blowing weed in my face. I’ve never seen so much marijuana in my life than at warped tour, it was gross. 

But it was worth it because I saw my favorite people. Concerts are honestly where I am the happiest.❤️

How to Stop Stressing?

 I literally just got back from vacation and I was thrown into anxiety. Like I went to a concert and the next day I had a full blown anxiety attack, and my chest felt tight the whole day. Now it’s the day after and I’m still having anxiety. Work is stressing me out, they know I was supposed to come back but they never put me on the schedule🙄. Like I need my hours, and who knows when the hell I’ll go back.. Then other personal stuff and my body is so exhausted I don’t even know what to do with myself. 

SO here are some things that help me when I’m stressed (sometimes) and obviously they aren’t helping me at the moment, but maybe they’ll help you.

  • Color (whether it’s an app or an actual coloring book. 
  • Watch funny YouTube videos (funny animals, youtubers, bloopers etc)
  • Watch a funny tv show on Netflix (Young and Hungry and Baby Daddy are hilarious when I’m sad)
  • Find a new movie to watch that you’ve never seen, get a snack and chill.
  • Meditate (sometimes it works)
  • Write your feelings out (whether it’s in a blog like me or on actual paper)
  • Play your favorite game (in my case that’s the sims)
  • Talk to a friend (usually I like to be left alone when I’m stressed but it’s a suggestion.)
  • Take a nap (this one helps a lot) 
  • Cook something 
  • Listen to your favorite music 
  • Clean or organize stuff 

If any of this helps you , I’m happy if you know something that would help me please let me know because my stress is stressing me out! 

Traveling Home 7-14-17

Today I had to get up at 5 to catch my flight back home. Charleston was fun and I honestly cried when we had to leave. I also got yelled at on security because the tsa people decided to be bitchy. But besides that I am writing this on a plane and as you can see I’m tired as hell.
So here are some of my favorite memories of this trip. 
It’s been fun. Until next time😭👋🏼✈️


1. Young and Hungry

It was one of the first shows I’ve ever watched on Netflix, also one of the only ones I can binge watch. It stars Emily Osment (From Hannah Montana) and she is a chef for a rich guy and all the other people that work there always get into hilarious trouble. It’s great just watch it.

Omg this show is so strange but it’s hilarious! And the count song is always stuck in my head it’s soooooo good. Just watch it , it’s definitely a show I have watched like 50 times. 

3. The Night Shift

I didn’t think I was going to like this show but it’s so funny. It’s not too gory because I HATE blood, like blood literally makes me gag and insides no thank you. But this has humor in it and not drama like most doctor shows. Just give it a chance. 


I’m almost done with the season, ugh so good. It is about a therapist who has a lot of her own problems and she goes deep into investigations for her patients before they even tell her things. WATCH IT. I don’t get why I like it it just sucked me in. 


It’s about siblings who are all parents, and they each have individual family issues. Plus they are a close family, that’s the only spoiler I’ll give. 


I’ve been watching this show for years, it’s so good like I just can’t. It’s about dancers obviously, but it has a lot of emotion into it and fuck I’m in love with it.

7. About A Boy

Again, one of the first shows I’ve watched. It’s so cute and the way everyone meets is hilarious and you need to watch it. 


It’s like a mystery kind of show about a small town, it’s hard to explain. It’s oddly entertaining. 



10. Jane The Virgin

This show is basically about a girl accidentally getting Inseminated by another guy and it’s funny, and a family show with also weird twists and turns. 

S’mores Panini?

Soooooooo hey friends. I did some touristy things a few days ago. I also got a huge sinus infection so that hasn’t been fun (yikes). 

So first we are going to start out with the cutest little icecream/ sandwich shop. 

They had s’mores paninis!!! I didn’t know that existed, they heated up the sweet soft bread and put icecream and graham crackers and marshmallow. It was SOOOO good and it surprisingly took a while before it melted. I want moreeee.⬇️

Then we continued on our way down the yellow brick road. JKKKK. If you love the wizard of oz though you’re my favorite.

Here’s me trying to be tumblr. Lol what a loser.

Pretty buildings. 

Then a few days later. We went on a boar ride and saw DOLPHINNNNSSS they are the cutest. 

And this cool boat, that looks like a pirate ship that’s haunted by probably 600 pirates. And the 6th oldest lighthouse on the East Coast (see I learned some things).

So yeah, I don’t feel good and don’t feel like writing so that’s all.


So today my mom, my aunt and I went to a plantation okay. It was all calm looking at the beautiful sights.

Then we were on this metal train looking at where the slaves used to stay.^ During the tour 

BAM it starts thundering and lightening. My knees got weak, and we were stuck under a tent and we couldn’t leave. On the way back on the METAL train it was lightening right next to us. I was freaking out and the driver speeds up to get us out of the storm, and we are hitting bumps and wobbling. I almost fell off, this one girl in the cart behind us was getting pulled around and rained on. It was sad but her expression was hilarious. 

So we made it to a little pavilion and I thought I was going to die there too.

The funny thing is after it died down I yelled “nope nope nope” (just like my Bitmoji lol) as I was walking and the lightening struck around us. We basically looked like we took showers in the rain after that. 

Then we had to run to the gift shop and I was near trees and I was so scared, my aunt loves rain and storms so she wasn’t scared. While my mom and I were like “OH MY GOD”

Aunt: Ready to go to the gift shop?

Me: NO

Mom: okay

Me: If we die it’s your fault

Mom: we’ll be okay.

Aunt: I love storms

Me: There is something wrong with you.



Mom: *laughing*

Mom: Everyone else walking in it are fine , we will be fine.




So that was an interesting one. Then we visited a petting zoo where they helped animals that were hurt and you could feed them if you wanted to.

This lil dear came up to me and tried to eat my bag. It was cute though. 

It was a good time until we got poured on and I was praying that I was not going to die. 

So yeah that’s a crazy story for your day.

Update on the “meant to be” guy

If you looked at my post called Meant to be , you’ll know about the random guy that visited me at work. He was the nicest guy and funny and blah blah blah. 

Well the other day I was in drivethru at work and I walked out to go get some sauce and he was standing there. I remember my eyes were as wide as watermelons (idk why I made this reference I just like watermelon)ANYWAYS; and my legs gave out for a second. 

This time I knew I had to talk to him, but then beep beep , a whole line of people decide to come in drivethru so I was like “ok I got this.” I rushed handing people their food, and everytime I passed the lobby I made sure he was still there. I finally made it to the end of that lil’ rush and I was gonna go talk to him. THEN my whole crew decides to stand up at the front and I would rather not be watched while I tried to flirt. He kept looking at me when I walked by which made me even more nervous. Plus, I didn’t have much time to decide before he got up and left. 

I was so pissed that I didn’t get the courage to talk to him. 

Then later the next day I stumbled along his social media and idk how it even came up. IT WAS A SIGN. I requested to follow him a few days ago, but he obviously doesn’t use social media much because he hasn’t touched my requests. 

So that’s my life, I literally have my eyes set on him. And here’s a convo with my mom about it 


Mom: that was dumb, you should have anyways.


Mom: He was probably coming back to see if you were there.


Mom: There’s tons of places to eat and he ate there twice within the span of a week

Me: So, maybe he likes the food.

Mom: *facepalm*

So that’s my update on “meant to be” guy, even though no one probably cares. I’m determined to talk to him again. It has to happen. 

Am I the only one who gets determined about like a guy and you’re like “I HAVE to talk to them” or am I just weird ??


I looooove exploring places I’ve never been before. It’s one of the greatest feelings to be in a different environment than the one you’re used to waking up to every day. Routines get way too old after a while.  Here’s some pictures of my exploring . 

I love that pun on tho^ it says “Have a BALL this summer.” HAHA..ha.ha. Anyways moving on. 

This is only the first day of exploring and I have much more on my camera that I’m too lazy to export.

I also saw a liscense plate with the words “I CAN” and it just inspired me. I wish I took a picture of it because I always think I can’t do something. 

This post is a mess but I hope you enjoyed it 

Blue Lipstick 

Today I realized how terrible this world is. I have tons of blue lipstick and I never know when to wear it. So I broke it out and decided to wear it to work. 

I work in fast food and I didn’t think it was a huge deal. I walked into work and everyone was like “omg I love the color”. And I felt great. Then my assistant manager pulled me aside and said scrub it off. I was like “why?” And she said she was told to tell me that it wasn’t “natural.” by my new general manager. He couldn’t even tell me he had to tell my manager to tell me. I didn’t scrub it off I just left it. 

I never knew lipstick could distract someone, or cause me to look less professional. I do my job, I clean, deal with customers what else do you want from me? People would much rather have people stand out then see everyone looking the same. 

I wanted to be different, but this resulted in me breaking down at the end of the night. The new manager made me feel like I wasn’t good enough even though I was on my hands and knees scrubbing floors and tables for hours. It’s funny how he’s the only one who didn’t like it. Everyone else complimented me, even the customers. And those customers will probably remember me because I stood out. This world is too damn bland, we need people to stand out and make a difference. 

This world makes everyone feel like the need to be the same, fuck that. I should go to work tomorrow with neon green lipstick and see how he feels about that. Yes go ahead and fire me over  lipstick.