It has rained non stop for the past few days. UGHHHHHHHHHHH. (And this picture is from when it rained a while ago and I took this) I can’t stand rain, like yes it’s cool to look at but whatever. Sometimes it tends to trigger some depression in me. I mean I tend to be a sad person anyways but rain just makes it a little harder. Some people are like:
“Omg Rain is so calming”
“Rain makes you want to cuddle up and watch movies.”
Rain makes me want to curl up in a ball of sadness and cry. Like it’s so gloomy outside and the rain reminds me of tears. Like the sky is crying. I don’t know, I might be weird for saying this but I can’t be the only one. Plus your clothes get all wet and you’re like sliding around like no. Don’t get me wrong, rain can be okay sometimes.
Most of the time though I seem to suffer from rain depression, if that’s even a thing. If it isn’t a thing well I just made it a thing. On the bright side rain drops on flowers and other objects make for pretty pictures like the one I took up there.^^
So yeah rain depression, I think it’s a thing.
I went to the fair not that long ago as you see by this picture. And I got left Alone multiple times by my “friends”. I never got to ride anything I wanted to I just ended up getting lost from my friends and no one noticing. And I turned into a pack mule and ended up carrying people’s stuff. This wasn’t just that night this happens all the time. I always am the one getting left behind, no one cares about me or what I want. It’s been this way my whole life with friend groups, I’m always the one that gets no say. I actually lost my voice that night of the fair yelling over everyone trying to get my voice to be heard. It should not be like this, when I’m older I hope my voice will be heard. And I hope all of these people not caring about my existence think;
“Wow I wish I was nicer to her.”
It’s just sad because when your own friends leave you out to be with other friends. Or they act different around other groups of people to show off. I never change myself to fit with other people. It really shows the maturity level. I feel like I’m always better off when I’m alone with my music. That way there’s no way for me to be left out.
Why do we go back to people who hurt us? I would love to know the answer to this question. There’s probably some scientific reason and if there is I’m too lazy to look it up. It just makes no sense. And by the way I mean MENTALLY hurt not PHYSICALLY hurt. I have had people that have and still treat me horribly but something inside is like “No don’t let them go! You need them.” When deep down I know I’m better off without them. I have someone in my life that has hurt me MANY times and there’s something that tells me not to get rid of them. I’m so sensitive and getting rid of people is not something I want to deal with, I just can’t. Everyone around me constantly tell me the same things like;
“They need to go!”
“You don’t need that negativity in your life!”
“Why do you deal with them?”
And I honestly have no answer for them. And I don’t want to listen to them when I know it’s what I need to do! I’m too nice and is difficult for me to get rid of people. Especially people I have known someone for a while, you know how hard it is to not talk to someone that you’ve known for like ever? My brain just constantly swirls with mixed feelings about it. I’m not ever sure what I need to do it switches on a daily. And no matter what I do I still keep talking to them and deep down hate myself for it. But there’s just something there that has hope that they will change. Also, there’s something that tells me “You need to move on.” I never know what to listen to anymore. It’s just like my brain vs my heart.
I am blessing you with a playlist of my strange music taste. This list has a bunch of songs that are not in the same genre what so ever. I also listen to a lot of throwback songs that I randomly get into idk I’m weird. OKAY here’s the list (in no particular order)
1. This is the House that Doubt Built – A Day to Remember
2. Bada Bing! Wit’ a pipe! – Four Year Strong
3. Chill Bill – Rob $tone
4. Mama Said – Lukas Graham
5. Outer Space/ Carry On – 5 Seconds of Summer
6. Victorious – Panic! At the Disco
7. December – Neck Deep
8. Not a Bad thing – Justin Timberlake
9. Down in the DM – Yo Gotti
10. Right Above it – Lil Wayne and Drake
11. Holding on to you – Twenty One Pilots
12. Do you mind – DJ Khaled
13. Come & Go – Broadside
14. Treat You Better – Shawn Mendes
15. Ode to Sleep – Twenty One Pilots
16. I Mean It – G-Eazy
17. Burning Up – Ne-Yo
18. Bang Bang – Green Day
19. Social Casualty – 5 Seconds of Summer
20. Better Off This Way – A Day To Remember
I used a picture of a sunset because honestly sunsets calm me down. And I honestly need that right now, with people today I feel like exploding. 1. My two enimies who I will give fake names later because I’m sure I will mention them a lot. Anyways, they kept staring at me today and laughing like what do you want? Would you like an autograph? Is there an issue? Like whaaaaaaat?! They’re annoying. And then I have this friend who annoys me on a daily basis and they keep ignoring me and I’m like wow thanks….. I always help everyone and get ignored in the process. Like I’m sorry for being nice and being there for you, would you like me to be rude to you?? It makes NO sense. I need to just start being mean to people maybe that would teach some people a lesson.
But back to sunsets. I have tons of sunset pictures so expect there to be 5 million more, they are like my favorite thing ever they are BEAUTIFUL and everyone loves looking at them(unlike me). So if you keep reading my blog (which you probably won’t) you will see tons of sunsets and rants about people annoying me so there’s that.
Hello there Welcome to my blog! I will post day to day photos (well I will try to) that fit how my day went. Or I will just post random things, I love ranting so get ready for that. My days are not that interesting at all to be quite honest with you. But I need a place to share my photos because photography is a huge passion of mine. Writing is also a huge passion so I hope you enjoy my blog posts and if not I could understand that too.