Hey everyone you probably forgot that I existed. Life has been going, I have been working and going to college 24/7 and have had like no time to work on my blog or photography and I’m trying to get back into it. I met a guy at my job that respects me and treats me well, I haven’t talked to him in a few days so I hope all is well. I still notice myself stressing over small things like that, and worrying everyone hates me. So honestly not much has changed. But if you still follow me then cheers to you🥂
Okay so love is a very touchy subject for me. I have never been in love, and it’s hard for me to trust and enjoy people’s company.
I have only been in one relationship that basically went down into flames.
I’m not one of those girls that has a new boyfriend every month. I am very picky and I know what I want.
I was on my way to work today with my grandmother and I was telling her how I’m extremely bored lately.
And she said “It would be nice if you go the movies, not necessarily with a guy but with some friends. But a guy would be nice.” then she added “He will come eventually though.”
That got to me a little bit. My mom always told me that the right guy will come and that I’m smart for not having a boyfriend.
I have been putting so much pressure on myself trying to meet new guys and talk to them but none have made an impression on me.
And she made me almost kind of feel bad about myself because I don’t have a boyfriend and I don’t have many friends like my cousins.
Two of my cousins go to huge colleges and are always hanging out with friends, both have had long term boyfriends.
And I feel like I’m constantly being compared to them.
I’m not about to hop into a relationship with some random person, I need to find the right one.
Part of me wants to just give up and let the guy come to me.
Then the other half of me wants to put myself out there and talk to people, which I have been doing but no one has really interested me.
Most guys always end up being friends because I don’t see them that way. It’s pretty aggravating.
I know it will happen eventually, but what if it doesn’t?
I’ll probably end up living in an apartment with my cat.
okay guys yes this happened at 2am.
I was on FaceTime with one of my friends and then I heard this weird screeching noise and I thought it was an animal call or something.
I kept talking to my friend until I realized that it was something dying.
I literally screamed at the top of my lungs at my cat to get the fuck away.
Meanwhile everyone in my house is asleep but I didn’t care at that moment.
I hate the dark but I threw on some shoes and went outside. I managed to chase my cat away but the bunny jumped off of my deck that is really high.
I shined my flashlight over the side of the deck and I almost cried because I thought it was dead.
I ran down the stairs and realized it wasn’t dead, I tried to chase it into the woods but it was so in shock that it kept running into my leg. I tried everything and I was about to give up.
I’m an animal lover so I couldn’t see that poor baby bunny in pain.
I ran back into my house and tried to find a container to catch it in. I found one but the bunny kept jumping out of it until finally it kept still. I ran to the woods letting it out as far as I could go.
I chased my cat back under my deck and she better not mess with that bunny I swear.
So yeah I start a new job in a few hours and I’m probably not going to sleep because of the Adrenalin rush. So I’m going to be a grouchy ass bitch tomorrow.
I am also going to have 800 bruises from running into parts of my deck in the dark.
I literally texted my mom to apologize for the noise since she’s asleep.
Also my friend was on FaceTime the entire time this was going on and he was ASLEEP despite me cussing at the top of my lungs.
And if anyone says anything to me I’m going to say;
“Have you ever tried to chase a baby bunny away from a cat at 2am? Didn’t think so.”
You may know me as that girl who rants about everything and has a stupid sense of humor.
But there’s more to me than just that.
I found a “Get to Know Me” tag online but I tweaked it leaving out some questions that weren’t too important.
So here’s the questions you never asked answered!
1. What is your name?
2. What is your favorite drink?
WINE. Jk fruit punch it’s my favorite. Wine is gross and I never want to drink it.
3. What is your favorite food?
Pizza? French fries? Chocolate?
4. What is your favorite holiday destination?
Cities or beaches
5. What is your favorite way to pass time?
Sleeping or playing the sims (judge me I dare you)
6. What is your favorite snack?
Watermelon, icecream, popcorn, chocolate
7. What is your favorite sport?
Me do sports? HAHAHAHAHAAHA
8. Are you a fan of any sports team?
The Redskins are cool
Are you a dog person or cat person?
Cat. I love my cat pumpkin she’s my child even though she hates me most days.
Are you scared of heights?
Indeed. Who isn’t ? How do you look down and not feel your stomach twisting in knots?!
9. At what age did you go on your first date?
10. What is at the top of your bucket list?
Travel. Become a photographer for a band and travel with them.
11. What is something you are gifted at?
Nothing lol. Photography I guess? I would like to think I’m good at it??
12. What is something you look for in a partner?
Someone who is kind of nerdy but not too nerdy, they have to quote spongebob with me. And they have to take my saracasm and not be an asshole basically.
13. What is something you wish you were gifted at doing?
Sports and drawing
14. What is the one item you can’t leave home without?
H E A D P H O N E S.
15. What is the best compliment you have ever received?
That I’m funny
16. What is the first movie you remember seeing?
Winnie the Pooh
17. What is the last book you read?
HAHA I don’t read but on occasions I read “Dorothy Must Die” 100/100 WOULD RECOMEND
18. What is your favorite color?
19. What is your favorite fairytale?
Does the Wizard of Oz Count?
20. What is your favorite ice-cream flavor?
Cotton Candy and Neapolitan
21. What is your favorite music genre?
POP, ROCK, POP-PUNK, HIP HOP AND RAP
What is your favorite quote?
Band shirts for the win
23. What is your most commonly used swear word?
24. What is your star sign?
Virgo. I fucking love astrology.
25. Do you have any allergies?
Yes. Basically anything that grows outside, at any time of year. It’s the worst.
26. What was the first concert you ever attended?
Eric Church. One of the few county artists I actually like.
27. What was your favorite subject in High School?
English and photography
28. What was your first job?
THE HELL HOLE THAT IS FAST FOOD
29. What was your least favorite subject in High School?
MATH. MATH. AND FUCKING MATH CAN GO DIE IN HOLE.
30. What is your biggest fear?
Clowns and bugs. And even bugs dressed up as clowns. And no I have not seen the movie “IT” and I refuse to.
31. Who has left the most impact on your life?
32. Who is the best teacher you ever had?
My biology teacher in 10th grade she was like my mom I would just go hang out in her classroom instead of going to my aide period.
33. Who is the first person you call when something exciting happens?
Mom and BFF
34. Who is the first person you call when something horrible happens?
Mom and BFF
35. Favorite bands?
- 5 seconds of Summer
- Neck Deep
- Taking Back Sunday
- With Confidence
- Twenty One Pilots
- All Time Low
- State Champs
- Panic at the Disco
- Fall Out Boy
36. Who was your first Celebrity crush?
Zac Efron. And still is tbh. He’s a beaut. And high school musical was my shit, and still is.
37. Who is your favorite actor?
Chris Pratt he’s so beautiful and hilarious and ughhh
Who is your favorite actress?
38. Describe yourself in a single sentence?
Dumb ass lazy band and sims loving idiot.
39. How many relationships have you been in?
40. On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the highest and 1 being the lowest, rate your fashion sense?
10 BITCH MY STYLE IS FABULOUS
41. On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the highest and 1 being the lowest, rate your cooking skills?
42. The first app you check when you wake up in the morning?
The yellow ghost
43. What app do you use most?
The yellow ghost. And the red play button.
44. What are some of your bad habits?
Biting my lip skin and my nails and picking at my thumbs. I hate doing it but I get nervous man and shit happens.
45. What are your favorite things about yourself?
I have a good sense of humor and great taste in music.👍🏼
46. What do you consider unforgivable?
Being an asshole for no reason.
Okay guys I hope you learned some stuff about me. I hope you don’t read this and unfollow me lol let me know what you think in the comments and yeah see y’all next post. xx
So after 600 applications I finally got a job.
*sigh* I hate to be that person but this is one of the jobs I did not really want.
I am grateful to finally have a way to get money and have a life outside of school and doing nothing.
But it’s just not something I really want to do.
I have to work in a bakery of a grocery store.
I am terrible at baking, I constantly burn myself and burn any food in sight.
At my last job I still have a scar where I burned myself on a fry basket.
I don’t like to deal with food because I just know I’m not into it and it’s just not what I wanted to do.
I really wanted the cashier job but everyone told me to do this and at least try it out for a bit.
They are already putting me on the for 8 hour days and I haven’t even started yet.
Plus I have college and I can’t work every single day of the week.
I’m honestly not looking forward to it, I’m going to deal with it so I can get some money for things that I need but it’s just ugh.
I hate to sound ungrateful because I have been trying to find a job for months.
But it’s just I don’t want to be unhappy with something, especially when I deal with being unhappy on a daily basis already.
So yeah sorry about the rant I thought I would update you, I start in a few days so I’ll make sure to update you guys on how it was.
I think we can agree one of the worse feelings in the world is having your heart physically hurt.
Whether it’s a breakup or something more serious, that feeling is the worst.
Or even the feeling of your heart dropping it like it’s hot to your stomach. That feeling is horrible.
Dealing with anxiety my chest and heart hurt a lot.
But last night something happened that shaped my day today.
I had a dream about something that I consider one of my worst nightmares. It involves someone close to me and other stuff. It’s hard to explain but it’s kind of private.
This dream was EXTREMELY vivid.
And I mean extremely x100000.
I remember crying in my dream multiple times, running away from the situation and it all felt so realistic. I woke up today with a complete anxiety attack, my chest felt like it was going to burst. I had this anxiety THE ENTIRE day, and I still do even though it’s almost midnight.
Now if I told you the dream you would think it was stupid as hell to be stressing over. And I kinda agree but my subconscious begs to differ. My subconscious has some major issues that it needs to resolve.
But the fact that a dream seemed so real that it physically hurt my heart in real life is crazy to me.
Sometimes I wish I could dive into my subconscious and see all of things that I dwell on that I don’t realize.
I swear if I wasn’t so into photography I would be a psychology major. I just have so many unanswered questions.
Phones are a serious addiction there is actual scientific proof that you can become addicted to your phone. And it’s extremely scary when you’re driving around and you see NO kids playing outside. It’s because they’re on their phone in the house or watching tv it’s sad. I played with dolls and toys for YEARS before I even thought about having a phone.
Now kids come out of the womb with phones I swear.
I’m not a hypocrite ok I have a phone addiction now but I’m not 5 years old.
So I decided to log what I did through the day and see how much time I spent on my phone.
* The morning*
*Wakes up and checks messages.*
*Responds to messages*
Makes lunch around 12:30
*Goes outside for a bit*
*Watches YouTube on phone*
*sits on phone procrastinating until I decide to get up and do homework*
*uses phone as calculator for math*
*Almost crushes computer because math is a piece of shit*
*gets distracted by Spotify on my computer AND phone*
*Talks to mom for a bit*
*Finishes work and makes dinner*
*goes outside to take pictures*
*Does ab workout*
*Pulls muscle lays on the ground on my phone*
*Plays sims while checking messages*
*Watches tv with family, and tunes out to read messages on my phone and scroll through Instagram*
*Misses the last half of the show because of my phone*
*Should be going to sleep but I’m writing my blog ON MY PHONE*
There’s probably more moments that I missed. BUT THATS SAD.
In my defense I don’t really have much to do on the days I don’t have classes. I don’t have many friends so I can’t like go places every day. I don’t have a job. Like what am I supposed to do?
But yeah it’s sad how much time I spend on my phone and I want to fix it but it’s honestly really hard.
I challenge you guys to see how many times you check your phone in a day the results may surprise you x